It’s a bird, a plane, it’s…. Superheroes Vs Zombies!
They are faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound….but how would your favorite superhero fair if it were Superheroes Vs Zombies?
Inspired by this very question on Quora I found myself spending way too much time thinking about this so I brought up to our crew. Just for argument sake we stuck with the DC and Marvel heroes only.
Let’s make this a bit more interesting by taking away those Superheroes that are pretty much indestructible or the ones with Godlike abilities. In other words the ones that zombies wouldn’t even be able to break their skin with a bite. Such as Superman, Hulk, Thor, Captain Marvel (aka Shazam), Martian Manhunter, The Silver Surfer, The Thing, Colossus, and Matter-Eater Lad (just kidding on that one. Seriously there is a character called Matter-Eater Lad …Hey lady SuperheroesI hear he’s single wink, wink).
Also we know who was turned to zombies in Marvel Zombies but we decided to throw that out from the start.
Here’s our list of who we think would do the best during a zombie apocalypse.
Ant-man or Wasp or Atom
Who are they: This group is together because they all have the power to alter their size down to the subatomic level while retaining their natural strength levels. So think of a person the size of an ant (or smaller) but can still lift 200lbs.
Reasons they would survive in Superheroes vs Zombies: Basically any of the heroes that can shrink down to microscopic levels would be safe…IF they stayed that size. Zombies rely on their sense of smell and a being that size can’t produce a smell that humans can detect. Zombies may still be able to smell them but they couldn’t see them to eat them. So the undead would just wonder around where they are looking for a human sized meal.
Who is he: Bruce Wayne witnessed the murder of his billionaire parents as a child. He swore to avenge their deaths and spent his life training extensively to achieve mental and physical perfection, mastering martial arts, detective skills, and criminal psychology. Costumed as a bat to prey on criminals’ fears, and utilizing a high-tech arsenal, he became the legendary Batman.
Reasons he would survive in Superheroes vs Zombies: Because he’s the God Damned Batman that’s why!!? Most people think his “no killing” rule would affect him but we think that Batman would know that they are already dead and show them mercy by putting a Bat-shank through their heads. He would have a arsenal or Bat-grenades, Bat-spikes, Batarangs, and other assorted Bat named killing weapons to help him along his journey.
Being the master strategist we also think that Batman would eventually lead all of the zombies he could to one location and detonate a Bat-nuke to clean them all out OR he would leave them trapped there while working to find a cure. Of course his zombiefied Bat-family would be secured in the Batcave so he could test Bat-zombie cures on their Bat-asses.
Besides that Batman has a plan for everything…we’re betting he’s got the BEST zombie survival strategy already ready.
Wolverine and Deadpool
Who are they: They are grouped together for their healing factors and fighting abilities. Both Wolverine and Deadpool have the remarkable ability to heal themselves from virtually any disease or physical injury. Deadpool has actually had his head “smashed” by the Hulk and was able to heal from that. Even Wolverine was once ripped completely in half by the Hulk, and his bottom half thrown miles away and he came back from that. Wow Hulk can be a dick huh?
Reasons they would survive in Superheroes vs Zombies: They can’t be turned. Heck we don’t think they can even die. Even if a zombie eats off body parts from either one of them they’ll grow them back. Plus they are both ruthless killers with unlimited time on their hands.
Who is he: He is the telepathic ruler of Atlantis and all of the oceans. With incredible strength and speed as well as the ability to command all sea-life he is usually found in the ocean’s greatest depths where the pressure and temperature would rip apart a normal man. Given a bad rep in the media these days and portrayed as only being able to “talk to fish”.
Reasons he would survive in Superheroes vs Zombies: Not only is he super-strong, super-fast, and nearly invulnerable, can control all sea creatures, but he can live at the bottom of the ocean where no actual human body (zombie or not) can survive. Due to the immense pressure at the bottom of the ocean a zombie would be squished flatter than a pancake after being ran over by a steamroller.
Who is he: After being bit by a radioactive spider high school student Peter Parker gained the speed, agility, wall crawling, strength, and powers of a spider. Including that 6th sense that we all know spiders have (No idea why he got that but not the ability to create webs…but whatever).
Reasons he would survive in Superheroes vs Zombies: Can a zombie climb a wall? No but our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man can! Not only that but his “spider-sense” would “tingle” when zombies were sneaking up on him…and according to movies that’s how zombies get like 80% of their victims. He could live on the tops of the highest buildings without worrying about how to get down or falling. Matter of fact he could lead zombies up to the highest building, get them on the roof, and trick them in to jumping off after him. Zombies go SPLATT, Spider-Man doesn’t.
Dr. Strange\Dr. Fate
Who are they: They are the Sorcerer Supreme of their given comic book label. They both use various spells, artifacts, and general badassery that comes along with being the most powerful magic user this side of your 38 year old unmarried cousin who still lives at home with his mom nailing his saving throw vs “get a job and move out”.
Reasons they would survive in Superheroes vs Zombies: Being the most powerful magician in the world BEFORE the apocalypse would certainly mean you still hold that title during. I would expect them to find a way to control the dead or to obliterate them all together and then warp away to another dimension where this never ever happened.
Who is he: Was a police scientist who gained super-speed when bathed by chemicals after a shelf of them was struck by lightning. The Flash can move, think, and react at light speeds as well as having superhuman endurance that allows them to run incredible distances.
Reasons he would survive in Superheroes vs Zombies: He’s the fastest man alive so how could any zombie catch him? If he can think and react at light speeds then there’s no way a slow shambling zombie is going to be able to even see him if he doesn’t want them to. He could literally rid the world of all zombies within a day….heck maybe just a few hours depending on if he takes a lunch break or has to stop to take a poop or something. Is he also the fastest pooper alive?
Who is she: The Scarlet Witch is the daughter of X-Men villain Magneto and was born with the ability to alter reality in unspecific ways. Her official power is that she can manipulate probability via hexes.
Reasons she would survive in Superheroes vs Zombies: “No more Zombies” is all she’d have to say. By uttering the phrase “No more mutants” in the comic book she essentially de-powered 90% of the mutant population. So she may have to say “No more zombies” twice but eventually they would all be gone.
Who is she: Wonder Woman is a warrior princess of the Amazons. She is gifted with a wide range of superhuman powers and superior combat and battle skills. She possesses an arsenal of weapons, including the Lasso of Truth, a pair of indestructible bracelets, a tiara which serves as a projectile
Reasons she would survive in Superheroes vs Zombies: Nearly as strong as Superman with the strategic mind of Batman thrown in. She’s known to use a sword or a battle axe as well. She would seriously lay the smack down on some zombie hind ends to say the least.
Who is she: Dead Girl has few memories of when she was still alive; she believes she was a young actress who was murdered by her co-star/lover, who then sealed her body inside a mausoleum. The dead heard her cries and lured the killer back to the crypt in which he had buried her. Dead Girl awoke and took her revenge on him. But trust us she’s a heroin and not a cold blooded killer…we think.
Reasons she would survive in Superheroes vs Zombies: She’ll never get her own movie. Heck she’ll never even make the screen in someone else movie but when the zombie apocalypse happens this is lady will be queen of the world! Her ability to control the undead and to phase through tangible objects alone means she would have nothing to fear from the zombies and could easily herd them anywhere she wants them. Plus she can talk to the dead so she wouldn’t be bored…oh did we mention she’s pretty much immortal too? Well you know.
Agree or disagree with our outlook on Superheroes Vs Zombies? Let us know in the comments below.
What about Supervillians? Who do you think would survive a zombie apocalypse?