9 things Yogi Berra could teach us about the zombie apocalypse.
The recent passing of the Yankee legend had me looking for his “Yogi-ism’s” and I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Yogi Berra was teaching us how to survive the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse.
Quote, after quote, after quote started clicking in my head that his advice could just save lives. So I quickly compiled a list of my favorites and then put those to the zombie apocalypse challenge test and sure enough most of them passed. I gathered up 9 of the best Yogi Berra quotes, or “Yogi-isms” and put them together in the list below.
“The future ain’t what it used to be.”
Yogi got that right. The future used to be graduate, get a job, get married, buy a house, squirt out a few kids, work until you retire, then spoil your grand-kids. It was like this for decades and maybe even a century. Not now! Now the future is so uncertain that most people can’t plan what they are going to be doing next month let alone the rest of their lives. But one thing you can prepare for is the inevitable zombie apocalypse. Get your bug out bag ready, plan where you are going to meet with family when it all goes down, get a month or two supply of can foods and water along with other essentials stored away and more. Let’s be honest, if you are prepared for a zombie apocalypse you are prepared for any emergency.
“If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.”
It’s important to know where you’ll meet up with family and friends when the apocalypse hits. Do you meet up at your place? Do you meet up at the local mega grocery store? Or do you all rally at the grandparent’s cabin in the woods? The place does matter too. You don’t want to find yourself meeting up in the middle of a place being looted nor do you want to meet up in place that’s already overrun with zombies. Pick a place that’s convenient for everyone, a place that at least one of you knows inside and out, and make sure there are some prepared and pre-stocked supplies waiting so that you can wait out the initial wave in relative peace.
“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
If every knows where they’re supposed to be going, you might not need to be so particular about the specific path to take. Just a few conversations about where and how long will save you a lot of headache and possibly the life of a loved one. Considering that you can’t know where you’ll be at the exact time you need to bug out there will obviously be several different routes to take to get there.
“No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.”
This will be what is said about shopping malls, major department stores, and grocery stores when the apocalypse hits…and months after. In the beginning those places will be swarmed with looters just trying to survive but one zombie will show up, then there’ll be two zombies there, then 4, then 8, then on and on until it’s a horde. Be smart and stay away from the high traffic areas. Stock up on what you need so that it will last you a month or so. It’ll mean the difference between being safe and a zombie.
“Always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise, they won’t go to yours.”
Yogi Berra knew that friendships are mutual and need to be active instead of passive. Do things for your friends and people you respect and they’ll in turn do things for you. This may also include putting them out of their misery if they are unfortunately turned into the living dead…the same goes for you. You would want them to do the same for you I’m sure.
“You can observe a lot by watching.”
Do you watch the news or read what’s going on around the world via the internet? Or do you randomly search for porn or pictures of kitty cats? Not that there’s anything wrong with porn or cats (not together though…eww) but you need to observe what’s going on in the world too. Contrary to Hollywood’s portrayal of a zombie apocalypse the chances of you waking up to everyone being a zombie is slim and none. It will start slowly and reports will come in on news sites that something odd is happening. Then within a few weeks it will explode out. So just “observe by watching” and you should get at least a week’s head start on the poop hitting the fan.
“How can you think and hit at the same time?”
Yogi Berra was talking about muscle memory. It’s the reason professional athletes still practice. When the game is on the line you don’t stand at the plate and think “I’ve got to hit this or we lose the game” you DO IT! You need to practice your cardio and practice working out so that you can put your brain on auto pilot when escaping or killing zombies and let your reflexes and muscle memory do the rest. Besides if you sat and thought about how you could die OR about the little girl from the up the street that you are about to grant mercy too you might hesitate long enough for that pretty little angel to rip your throat out and eat your face off. Not so cute now is she?
“It ain’t over till it’s over”
When someone, unfortunately, passes away today it’s over for them, but that’s not going to be true in the zombie apocalypse. That’ll be just the start of a hell on earth that will turn the dead into some sort of abomination that has to be dealt with by the survivors. So it ain’t over until you put a hole through the brain or take the head completely off. Then it’s over.
“Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.”
The same can be said about the zombie apocalypse! You need to be mentally tough beyond anything you’ve ever experienced so far in your life. You will have to do things you’ve never considered, eat things you wouldn’t normally touch, and be more resourceful that you ever imagined. Not “keeping your head on” can cause you to lose your head literally…and have it eaten by zombies. But let’s not gloss over the “other half” as Mr. Berra so eloquently said. Physical or cardio will be needed then more than ever. So get ready now before it’s too late!
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