Pick a good car for your zombie escape vehicle…one that you would like to be buried in. Chances are you will be!

This is a part of the ongoing series “A Different Take on Zombie Survival Plans“.

I’m sure for your zombie escape vehicle you are thinking some sort of big RV or an 18-wheeler with a bulldozer blade welded to the front, or possibly a hummer with a Browning .50 caliber machine gun strapped to the top. I could also see you thinking a tank would do the trick or maybe even some sort of jet fighter too.

All of those sound great and could possibly keep you safe….for a while. In the end each of them have their downside that would make them just not a practical choice for your zombie escape vehicle. First of all each of them rely on some sort of fuel to keep them going. When you run out of that then you become a human version of canned food for the zombies. Second, if you can’t already drive it then how are you going to learn during the apocalypse? For example if you are not a fighter pilot or know how to drive a tank those vehicles will get you killed quicker than Adobe needing a new update. As for the RV and 18-wheeler you may get away with driving those for a bit but unless you know how to weld then all you have is your basic truck that guzzles gas like it’s going out of style, and guess what, IT IS!

Unless you know how to refine oil you are living on borrowed time when it comes to gas.

There’s also the safety side to all of this. Think about this when you get in to a minor accident, or “fender bender” now you pull over to the side of the road and exchange information and wait for the police to show up to write a report. If that accident is a little more serious you stay put and wait for the ambulance to arrive so they can take you to get help. Well help ain’t coming in the apocalypse. It’ll be every man, woman, and child for themselves. Every minor accident that impedes your rout is potentially life threatening to you. You may have just boxed yourself in your own coffin or as a meal on wheels for the undead. Don’t even get me started on motorcycles; they are already called “organ donors” by medical personal for a reason. A slight mistake going 35 MPH and forget about it.

In a perfect world the best vehicle would have to be a steam powered train who’s track is in a constant loop over a few hundred square miles. Zombies couldn’t catch it, derail it, or get on it if it was in constant motion. But even then you would have to stop and get more firewood or coal or whatever you are burning to produce the steam. I’m not even going to get into the thought that other survivors would try to derail you out of spite or just sheer douchebaggery.

Zombie Survival Tip #4

So how do you get around town without gas and still make sure that you out run zombies? How do you zip up and down the roads, sidewalks, hallways, highways, and byways? Your good old fashioned bicycle of course. Think about it for a second and it’ll make sense. Sure it’s not the sexy army jeep with a rocket launcher and flame thrower accessory but where are you going to find one of those anyway? I bet that within a mile from your house there are at least three bikes to choose from. Plus if you are a planning person you could go ahead and buy one now and get used to it. They are way cheaper than fighter jets or an RV with a bulldozer blade on it.

Your average cruising speed on a racing bicycle is around 10MPH and you could easily get up to 25-30MPH for some distances. The average human can run around 15MPH for short distances and we walk at the average pace of about 3MPH. Essentially you’d ride rings around them if you wanted. Now if you take my advice from my blog post NO PLACE LIKE HOME and stay in your hometown during the zombie apocalypse then you’ve got it made. You have your bike of choice already and you know the lay of the land. You can get to where you need to go safely, effectively, and with relative ease.

So where do we go from here? Up next is guest blog post from Reviewing Remy about weapons and what works best in your time of need.

Do you agree?   Let us know how you’d roll in the apocalypse in the comments below.

Check out the entire series from the start.
Part 1: A different take on the zombie survival plan
Part 2: No Place Like Home
Part 3: Zombie Fashion Show
Part 4: Zombie Escape Vehicle
Part 5: Zombie Apocalypse Weapon of Choice
Part 6: CARDIO!